Wild Thing Jaidon
Last weekend Jaidon and I went to Changing Hands Bookstore in Tempe, AZ. for story time. It was certainly a crazy time and the reader was especially theatrical. We enjoyed it. I am not sure if Jai even really followed the book, but he was so entertained by all the kids who attended. The book is about a quite imaginative baby boy who goes to bed without supper. His world takes off when he is alone in his room with his own thoughts. Isn't that the truth! I can relate to the baby boy's mental adventure. It is a sweet and unique perspective on the internal life of our children. Are we allowing our children to have an internal life these days? Or do we overstimulate them so much that they don't know how to create anything anymore. Are we only teaching our children to get the right answer? Are we teaching our children to really ask the right questions? Are we teaching how to love each other and practice this over and over again? Can we give the gift of patience and enjoyment of life? I really wonder about this. I love this picture of Jai because he looks like he doesn't know what is happening and he doesn't really want to know. He is so cute. What will happen if our children lose their creativity. I will pray that this doesn't happen, especially with Jaidon. Maybe my prayers can start here in my home and then permeate others. 

Wild Thing Propaganda
This morning I received an email about how democracy is dead in the United States since Obama has been elected president in 2008. There is such an aftermath of negativity happening in the United States right now. It somewhat worries me that there is so much hatred being spread about Obama. What are we so scared about? I live in a holistic household. I am liberal mostly in my thought and my husband is mostly conservative in his political views. We make it work and still love each other. The key is that we work and communicate and love. When are we as a nation going to understand that we are all one? The act is kindness and no judgement. Although I may think one way and he may think another way, we are still capable of being a loving, married couple. We hold both ends of the spectrum and just watch and observe it. My thoughts are just thoughts and have been shaped by education, intuition, and upbringing. My love is what is important here. That is, my love in practice. We must cultivate this within us. We don't need another debate or another act of division. We need to stand up for real communication and kindness between each other. Although, at first my ego was saying, "Why exactly am I getting this email?" After time, I found that there is deep fear and sorrow behind this propaganda. We need to take the time to heal as a nation.   

When I lived in Sedona, I was amazed how the animals lived in harmony with the people. (There are some cases of disharmony of course.) But it was so different than the city energy. Cats and dogs are everywhere but they don't seem as happy. I think that pets enrich our lives so much. There is a flow of grace that happens between pets and their human friends. I always remember having kitty friends and as a child thinking that it was so natural and perfect to live with them in joy. I remember hosting kitty boot camps in our garage. I remember making tents for our cats. My sister and I really had fun with them.

For Honey
Honey died on October 19, 2009. Honey was such a kind kitty. I remember when we got her when I was in 7^th grade and I was so excited to get a cat and rescue one nonetheless. She was rather timid and shy at first but Melissa and I wanted her anyway. She seemed happy to go with us. Throughout the years, she has been my best friend through many joys and challenges. I remember one time in particular that I had the chicken pox. I could’t get a hold of anybody to help me with my fever. So I just found comfort in her and knowing that she was there with me made such a huge difference for me. I want to tell you what the last years of her life consisted of. Honey loved to sun in our bedrooms. She would put herself right in the sunniest room and clean herself and meditate and sleep for hours and hours. She loved to live with me and Eric. When I became pregnant with Jaidon my role had to decrease so her primary caretaker was Eric. Honey loved Eric so much. She would let him feed her, give her baths, pamper her with treats, and play with her with toys (other than just the beloved foil balls).  She adored him and let him do things with her that for years and years she would deny me and Melissa. She would let him actually give her baths. In her later years she wasn't’t able to keep herself clean, so Eric with carefully put her in the sink. I was surprised that she actually let him. She was such a great, lovely gal. Here’s to you Honey! Thank you for all of your kindness, love and support over the 23 years.

I noticed this week the competitive nature of my own workings. Ofcourse, I have never understood it like before. It really struck a cord with me when Rama talked about judgment and criticism being competitiveness. I had never looked at it from that point of view and I am thankful for this insight on judgment. I feel like my pattern of my mind is to be competitive, but the underlying truth is lack of self worth. Looking back on things in my life that my ego tells me is failure is one of the hardest things for me to do. Again, a good example of the showing of the dichotomies; light versus dark, success versus failure, etc. I have been competing in my work, instead of loving my work. I saw the opportunity of my work to be like a ball and chain, not something life-giving and fun. I am naturally hard working woman. I am a Mexican. My people have been working and laboring in fields and shit jobs for a long time. I don’t have problems with that part, but I do not enjoy the work. I don’t send it out or let it go. My mind tells me that it has to be perfect or else. I ask it, OR ELSE WHAT? I feel like I need to enjoy what I do and I need to stop doing jobs that I don’t like doing or that it is not my calling. I have had a glimpse of what my calling is, but have yet to really be there. Right now, my calling is motherhood. I love it with everything in my being and right now, I am enough. I don’t need to compete with myself anymore.

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